Katie & Rachel: Team Spike

Katie & Rachel are beach volleyball players and, you know what? I like them! They're very cute, personable, and I really just need an all female team with some cajones that I can root for. I don't know. It's been a very weird day with some very strange people and I think the sight of two seemingly nice gals with great hair is welcoming.

Both Katie and Rachel are delightful, excited about racing, and would use the money to buy themselves houses. Katie would love to switch places with Bella Swan (Haha!) and Rachel worries about getting kidnapped while traveling. Me too girlfriend. I saw Taken. I know what goes down.

Yes, at this point I'm just trying to cruise through these cast vids.

Please to enjoy:

Jill & Thomas: Team Jack & Jill

This is the boyfriend/girlfriend team of Jill & Thomas. Right off the bat, I'm a little dismayed Thomas' name isn't Jack. Can you imagine the stories I could have written about Team Jack & Jill? I might still call them that if he falls down a hill at some point. We'll see.

Jill is a hair stylist and she's an outgoing spunky kind of gal according to her CBS.com bio. She says she's not scared of traveling and yearns to have an Eat, Pray, Love experience at some point in her life. If she wins the million she plans on buying a decent handbag collection. *sigh* Where to even begin? Alright, let me watch her video before I rush to judgment.

OK yeah, this team sucks. I actually started whispering sweet nothings to my dog during their video. I told my fluffy white ball of love she was Miss Gorgeosity and is the most beautiful dog in all of the land. She looked at me as if to say, "Cut it out bitch. You just woke my lazy ass up." Those few moments we exchanged had more intrigue and fascination for me than these two chuckleheads in their bio video.

Thomas/Jack is in desperate need of a haircut which is kind of ironic considering Jill is a hair stylist. He wishes he could be a pro golfer and hopes to not get caught in a "hostile environment" while traveling. Fingers crossed Beirut is one of the Pit Stops!

Alright, these people bore me. The most I can hope for is lots of arguing where Jill's voice never raises and her face doesn't move. Please to enjoy:

Gary & Mallory: Team Miss Depends

I know I've been slacking a bit here, but things are a little crazy right now. Anyhow, I swear I'll get all of these done before the premiere tomorrow night.

OK so today we meet the father/daughter team of Gary and Mallory. Gary is a successful entrepeneur and likes to do all sorts of manly things like hunt and fish. He's the oldest guy on the race and that makes him smile. The idea of taking his Centrum Silver somewhere in the mountains of Nepal or the thick rich jungles of Colombia makes him tinkle his Depends just a teeny tiny bit. It's sort of precious.

Mallory is one of those "pageant people" and is very proud to have been Miss Kentucky and sprayed hairspray on her butt and put vaseline on her teeth. Yes, everything I know from pageants I learned from Miss Congeniality. I'm sorry, but what's the deal with Miss America feeding it's rejects to the Amazing Race? I'd like to suggest that maybe next time around TAR pulls from the Bad Girls Club instead. Sex and drunken debauchery is what this show's missing. I'm thinking CBS could take the Emmy back with Tanisha at the helm pounding her pots and pans. "Pop off son!"

Alright, whatever, these people are kind of cookie cutter happy-to-be-alive-and-on-the-Amazing-Race which means they're kinda boring.

Please to enjoy: