Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Team Blood Diamond: Brook & Claire

The next team we're going to meet today are the home shopping duo that is Brook & Claire. Apparently, there's a jewelry channel and that's where these two chuckleheads work. If there's one thing I'd never buy off the TV, it's jewelry... and maybe any sort of plastic hair product. My TV shopping experience is pretty much limited to any sort of dance type workout DVD. That reminds me, I never did order the Pussycat Dolls workout...

Order it with me... you know you wanna...

OK so Brook is super proud of herself. She makes 6 figures peddling blood diamonds for insomniacs and that makes her happy. I'm not hatin' I swear - if I could make that much stroking shiny hard things, I'd do it too. *pauses to watch a little bit of their video* I take it back. I am hating. Holy what the hell... this chick is annoying. She's always on and it's semi fascinating that her biggest fear in life is getting an incurable disease. All at once I want to cut her and watch her try to sell things to innocent Cambodians.

Poor Claire... there's an entire Order called the Poor Claires (name the movie and you're a big weiner!)... Claire is the not so pretty sidekick who loves Costa Rica and would like to invest the cash prize in hopes of doubling it. Claire thinks that food will be her harderst obstacle on the Race and I can't help but wonder how Chile is recovering from the tamale hoarding Jordan. She's the lesser entertaining of the two and she says her dad is her hero. Yawn, yawn, double yawn.

I'm not going to write these two off just yet. I'm sensing something inside of them that could be evil and entertaining. If they keep talking to me like I'm in fucking kindergarten, then we're going to have a problem, but Claire's all too obvious lust for Brook should be fun to watch.

Here's the video where Brook totally reminds me of Bobbie Brown (not Mr. Whitney Houston or the make-up artist, but the 90's video vixen Bobbie Brown from Warrant's 'Cherry Pie' video). I might even start calling her BB. Please to enjoy:


  1. Brook is awfully annoying and so full of herself! but having seen other teams, I don't think she is the worst - at least she might turn out to be entertaining...the whole cast is mostly blond, mostly young, mostly athletic, mostly look-alike...

  2. oh, dear Ms LaLa, can't wait for your review of the other teams! especially now when the BB feeds are temporarily blocked. Maybe TAR-17 will prove to be a welcome diversion from the pathetic BB-12 season! :)

    Watermelon Wins!!!

  4. Brook is a narcissistic jerk, a loud mouth constantly SCREAMING for attention. How truly pathetic. In truth, she practically destroyed the season for me. 90% of the time she was on camera, so was my MUTE switch. Arrogant, for her, is an understatement. A vile and disgusting person, is this Brook that, the only redeeming value of this season is that their team lost. Congratulations Nat & Kat!

  5. mad about people who hate brook and claireDecember 16, 2010 at 7:00 PM

    anonymous SHUT UP brooke rocks yea 90% of the time she was on the camera because they show the best teams on camera i like to see you race around the world you would sooooooo get out the first round