Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Jody & Shannon: Team Depends

Next up is Team Depends. The grandmother and granddaughter team from Texas. I just took a quick glance at their cbs.com bio and literally spit out the coffee that was in my mouth. Tell me this is for real... Grandma Jody is 71 and a personal trainer. HAHA! A personal trainer? Do her clients box kangaroos and toss around medicine balls? Seriously, I love that. She competes in triatholons (like JLo!) and wants to complete a full marathon before she dies. Bitch better get on that cuz that St. Peter could be coming for her ass tomorrow.

The more I read, the more I fall in love with Jody. In the 90's, she did a two year stint as a stand-up comedian. That's genius! I want her to be my grandma. She can give me hard candy out of her pocket and wake me up at 6am to eat oatmeal and go power walking.

Dear Centrum Silver, I found your new spokesperson. Love, Lala.

To be quite honest, I could care less about Shannon. She's getting her degree in Economics and blah blah blah. Let's get back to Jody already. She's ambitious, feisty, and I'm already ordering Metamucil as an homage to her. Her life long dreams include: walking the Appalachian Trail (so she's who Sanford was boning!), hiking the Colorado mountains, competing in an Iron Man triatholon (!), trekking in Norway, bicycling through the Netherlands (where she'll probably smoke weed and moonlight as a prostitute), developing a tv show about old farts who like to work out, and trading places with Carol Burnett for a day. Wow. I want to be like Jody when I'm old and decrepit.

As much I'm loving Jody and popping Correctol in her honor, I don't think this duo will perform well at all. As a matter of fact, I predict a very early dismissal for these fine ladies (I may or may not have read that somewhere). It's too bad really. Jody could have been my new hero. I'm raising my glass of prune juice in your honor Jody. Rock on girlfriend! Seriously Jody, if you're reading this, contact me. I would love to talk to you.

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