Thursday, January 21, 2010

Caite & Brent: Team Such As


I can't express how much I'm looking forward to this one. As most of you know Caite is the infamous Miss South Carolina who gave that wretched answer, "The Iraq such as...". As her boyfriend has major douche face and is pretty much insignificant in my world I've dubbed this team... Team Such As. On CBS.com, they're being called "Dating Models". Oh come on, let's just call a spade a spade already. They were cast so we could see just how stupid they are. Caite is milking her 15 minutes for all it's worth and I can't say I blame her. She has nothing to offer the world, but dumb blonde jokes and a pending meth addiction. I can totally see her on Celebrity Rehab in a few years... or maybe Celebrity Fit Club... I'm not sure which one would be funnier.

Brent doesn't like that Caite can't take criticism and Caite doesn't like it that Brent picks his nose and leaves the tissues in the toilet. If Caite wins the money, she'd buy a Maserati and some alcohol. Seriously, I'm not kidding. Her bio at CBS.com is pretty much a laugh a minute. I can't decide whether I want to embrace her for her honesty or start hurling ninja stars at her. She has such potential to be a great Reality TV star. All I want out of her is "hot mess" personified. I have no allusions about her performance or who she is as a person. She'll be dim, selfish, impatient, and hard-headed yet there is some part of me that wants to cheer her on. The girl makes no apologies for being a super bitch and I'd be a hypcocrite if I didn't appreciate that just a teeny tiny bit.

Let's check out their video and see if anything else comes to light. Please to enjoy:






Yeah I was right. She's gonna be an epic bitch. It's up to her as to whether or not she makes it entertaining or simply annoying. I'm almost reminded of Ericka of Team Zebra. Sure, she was a heinous bitch, but you can't tell me you didn't enjoy it when she strapped on her Whitney Weave and lost her ever loving mind. Breakdowns on The Amazing Race are like little precious fairies dancing in the moonlight. You just look at them and smile knowing your night had just become a little jollier.

I'm going to predict that they will last longer than Jeff and Jordan - only because this will thrill me immensely - but that they won't go to the end. Caite will lose her shit during a challenge and it'll stifle the communication needed to succeed. I also think it's painfully clear that Douchey Brent is only with her for the recognition and fame potential. She'll kick him to the curb by the time the show is done airing to wander the dark and musty clubs lining Hollywood Blvd. She'll gaze expectantly at club owners twirling their moustaches. A whiff of promise in the air, 4 inch black patent leather stilettos touched up with a Sharpie, and a waiting dirty stained mattress in the back... I could really learn to love this girl and her hot mess potential.


2 comments:

  1. Allen Says:
    Potentially epic Amazing Race, but anything just above watching paint dry will be an improvement over last season.

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  2. So far it seems like this season will be so much better and more entertaining than the last. I agree about loving the breakdowns. Will be waiting patiently to read all your thoughts on each team. you always make me laugh!

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