Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
My apologies. I know I suck. I'll flog myself later.
I'll just leave it to you guys to write about in the comments. The floor is yours.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Back at the market, Veruca has earned back her name Jill as, much to Jack's (Thomas') dismay, she's pointing out scratches on the glasses to potential buyers. I don't understand this girl at all. She gets mad when the locals try to smile at her yet she blows a sale by apologizing for the condition of her cheap plastic sunglasses. Honey, those are TJ Maxx glasses. They're Marshall's glasses. You buy a bundle, lose them in your car and at restaurants, and then you buy some more. No big deal. While Jill is deciding on a personality, Nick of Team Dumb Ass (Nick & Vicki) struggles. He shifts uncomfortably, shows off some tattoos, and then wanders around hoping maybe the whole sunglass challenge will just magically disappear somehow. His heart wasn't in it at all and it was infuriating to watch. He just stood there! Look, you're never going to see these people again. Just suck it up and sell. The locals were fascinated with his tattoos. Why he didn't capitalize on that is beyond me. I really wanted Team Dumb Ass to wow me or at least mutter some more stupid stuff for me to laugh at. Instead they were boring. Bo-ring! Hayden Moss boring, if you will.
At this point, Team Blood Diamond has finished first winning a 10 day trip to Hawaii. Hey Brook, do me a favor and drop Claire off in the center of a big giant active volcano while you're there. I think I recall Tori Amos mentioning one called Pele. I wouldn't be surprised if Pele likes potatoes. Team Spike finishes second with Team Woo rounding out the top three.
Back at the antenna challenge Team Gleek is having a hard time putting a nail to wood so they flat out give up and leave a family without the gift of televsion - the cruelest gift imaginable if you ask me. Connor even has the audacity to ask the child of the televisionless house for a high five before he skedaddles. The child gives Connor the stink eye and regretfully looks forward to a life without Nickelodeon and cartoons. Over at the coffin challenge, Team Gleek continues to wreak their reign of terror over the once happy country of Ghana as they stop traffic with their giant fish coffin. Cars crash around them, locals hurl insults in 47 languages, and Ghanians everywhere decided to never ever sing again.
Nearing the end of this sweaty Ghanian mess, we find Mallory smearing her eyeliner all over her face, Andie catching a nap in the back of her cab, and Team Propofol yacking about how they tied surgical knots. Look, we get it. You're doctors. We know. But it's not like you're surgeons. You give people gas. I once met a guy at a Phish concert doling out Nitris in giant balloons and he wasn't all that special so neither are you two bores. Let's wrap this up shall we cuz I'm getting annoyed. Team Don't Abort Me is the last team to arrive and they're eliminated from the race. Good. That's all I got... "Good". Now they can trot off to the Elimination Station and stop talking about how much they want to know each other and instead actually, you know, get to know each other!
So, what did you guys think of last night's episode? Does Claire serve any purpose whatsoever? How the hell does Baby Wu have a million suscribers on youtube? Will that little televisionless boy ever forgive Team Gleek? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
I've got 2 Elimination Stations for you today. Please to enjoy:
Monday, September 27, 2010
In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, lived a strange race of people... the Druids. No one knows where they came from or what they were doing, but their legacy remains, hewn into the living rock... Stonehenge. *begin raucous guitar solo*
England. America's cranky stepfather where people talk funny, drink warm beer, and, strangely enough, get to go to the doctor for free. Sure, I've been to England and it's lovely and all that, but I prefer to imagine my England just a teeny tiny more rustic than it is now. I want scullery maids in the basement, old ladies singing in the darkness selling flowers to ne'erdowells, and gangs of orphan children with page boy caps stealing fruit from street vendors. You know, lots of letter writing, bowing to one another, and dance cards at parties. I want Keira Knightley and Kate Winslet in empire waisted gowns while Richard E. Grant sneers off in a corner somewhere sneaking a cigarette. Throw in Johnny Depp in a pair of shorty shortpants and a face disfiguring case of Syphillis and we've got the England of my dreams. So, pip pip cheerio, let's all enjoy a fag and wave at a lorry because England is where season 17 of the Amazing Race kicked off. Let's recap, shall we?
Picture it. Phil, our giant pants'd leader standing on a grand estate in Gloucester, Massachusetts. The air is breezy, seagulls circle above squawking ominously while 12 innocent duos bounce around the choppy water in commercial lobster boats. The smell of fish is in the air as burly ship captains picking chum out of their teeth watch from a distance with smug disdain. It was all so seaport-y and made me want to dip crab leg after crab leg into delicious melted butter. Actually, the last time I was in Gloucester was for a Nine Inch Nails concert. I was wearing black leather pants and a "fuck you" look on my face. I think I stepped on some bitch's foot in the mosh pit and she yanked my hair in response. I'm sorry, but who enters a mosh pit at an industrial show with bare feet? So yeah, I watched Phil and his pants welcome the new teams and the whole time I had a hankering for shellfish and an inexplicable urge to fight. When Phil held his finger to the sky, crouched down, and shouted "GO!", I may or may not have done a fist pump while slurping down some clam chowder.
The race is on and teams discover they are to fly to London on one of two flights and head directly to Stonehenge. The first flight arriving at Heathrow 30 minutes earlier than the second can only take 3 teams. In addition, the team that wins this leg of the race also gets the fancy new Express Pass. No, it's not a discount card to Express. It is, in fact, a pass that can be used at any time in the next 8 legs to bypass a challenge you don't want to complete. It's kind of a huge deal and teams will fight to the death to get it. Right off the bat we discover that Team Blood Diamond (Brook & Claire) is going to be annoying - like really, really annoying. Brook has this urge to narrate everything while simultaneously shrieking in that shrill voice of hers. Conversely, Team Gleek (Connor & Jonathan) is just happy to be there. They get lost on the way to the airport and instead of panicking and freaking out like Brook would have done, guess what they do? Yup, they sing about it. They're so lost duwop, duwop a diddy doo... oh so lost duwop, duwop a diddy doo. When life gives these guy lemons, they give us a song.
I've flown out of Logan Aiport an awful lot and, let me tell you, it's not the easiest airport to access. Driving in Boston is like driving in an M.C. Escher drawing. You go West and end up South. You turn right and find yourself underground with all the Mole People in Manhattan. It's a nightmare so I was pretty impressed when Team Silent Thunder (Ron & Tony), Team Jack & Jill (Jill & Thomas), and Team Fisticuffs (Chad & Stephanie) made it relatively quickly to the ticket counter and onboard that first flight. Team Gleek arrives at the airport last and *shrugs shoulders* it totally cool shooby dee doo because they're making new friends and having a smashing time.
So now we fly across the pond and find ourselves in merry old England. I smiled to myself remembering the woman at the British Museum I once got into a heated debate with about witchcraft. She was colorful and eccentric and resembled Eliza Doolittle before the makeover. OK so the first plane arrives and Teams quickly discover that shifting and driving on the wrong side of the road isn't exactly the easiest of tasks. Chad, of Team Fisticuffs, is especially angry. He kicks Steph's seat from behind screaming for her to get her shit together. She covers her head and cries while driving in circles around Heathrow Airport. She just wants to take in the sights and, oh I don't know, maybe visit the Tower Of London and the Tate while she's in town. Maybe they could score some tickets for Sister Act in the West End or at least hit the Doc Marten superstore. Chad, on the other hand, wonders if there's a knife shop and an abandoned storage unit conveniently located on the way to Stonehenge.
The second plane arrives and Brook is absolutely floored that Claire can shift left handed. She gushes and writhes and, I'm not certain, but I think she touched herself a little bit in the backseat. Over on Team Propofol (Nat & Kat), Nat is sitting in the front seat of her car pricking her finger. I thought for a second we might have our first ever Amazing Race blood oath or maybe she was casting a spell like those chicks did in The Craft when they pricked their fingers. I mean, it's not so far fetched that one would want to cast a spell in England. Those Ley Lines run through everything over there so I totally get it. Turns out Nat has Type 1 Diabetes. *yawn* One of these seasons, so help me Pru Halliwell, I will get a witch on this damn show!
Off in another car Team Don't Abort Me (Andie & Jenna) is having a few problems. Not only does Andie probably suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but she also doesn't know how to drive a stick. Look, I don't know how to drive a stick either, but you better believe I'd learn before I went on the Amazing Race. Randomly shifting and pushing pedals is what Richard Gere did in Pretty Woman. Sure, he got a hooker willing to touch his wangdoodle after all was said and done, but Andie was just burning up the inner parts of her car and screwing up British traffic patterns. It's a good thing Andie and Jenna are virtual strangers because I'm pretty sure if Jenna actually knew that woman attempting to drive her around a foreign country she would have piped up and said something. Instead, she sat there stone faced thinking of her other mom, her better mom - the mom who can not only bake a mean chocoloate chip cookie and send her to college, but the mom who didn't place her in a woven basket and shove her upstream when things got tough.
At this point both Team Blood Diamond and Team Propofol have made it to Stonehenge where the demons dwell, the banshees live, and the children dance to the pipes of Pan. In all honesty, Stonehenge is kind of underwhelming in person. Sure, it's mysterious, but you can't even go up to the rocks unless you're a Druid on Solstice day with government permission. They say the ground is sinking or something so you have to see it from a roped off area and buy yourself a handy dandy Stonehenge book, post card, and an "I didn't get to touch the rocks so all I got was this stupid shirt instead" t-shirt at the gift shop.
Once at Stonehenge teams receive their next clue: Find the castle opposite of Noreaster. Team Propofol asks someone at the Stonehenge gift stop about the clue and is told that it must refer to Eastnor Castle. Team Blood Diamond and Team Propofol immediately decide to team up because Brook, kicking back with a smoke smiling to hereslf, has decided that Nat & Kat are good people - good, salt of the Earth, hard working chicks not unlike herself just navigating through life trying to make a quick buck and looking good doing it. She'll be friends with those gals for life. Unless, of course, they win and take the million from her. Otherwise, she totally plans on calling on them and giving them some sweet discounts on jewelry.
Team Don't Abort Me isn't the only team having car trouble. Team Spike (Katie & Rachel) are stalled on a hill and Team Silent Thunder (Ron & Tony) are halfway back to America at this point. They have no idea where the hell they're going and as every minute passes, their kick ass lead is becoming more of a distant memory. Then we hear it... one of the gems. No, it's not a hot new product Brook is peddling. It's a lovely chocolate dipped air-headed witticism from Vicki on Team Bad Ass (Nick & Vicki). Let's just say, she's Jughead's (Survivor Nicaragua) counterpart. Vicki has never heard of Stonehenge. She's never watched the National Geographic channel and I'm not even sure she graduated from the 8th grade. One thing I do know is that she's delightful in a dumb ass way. When she discovers Stonehenge is just a hunk of rocks she shrugs her shoulders, wonders when nap time is, and goes on with her life. Fancy information about the world and how it works just doesn't interest Vicki and I don't think I can hate her for that. She's comic relief and nothing more. People like Vicki always fascinate me because I can't help but wonder how they spend their days. Does she just run wild in a field of dandelions chasing butterflies or was she raised in the woods like Nell with no access to a television or a newspaper? Vicki, if you're reading this, please invite me over for cupcakes and kool-aid. I just want to sit in a corner and observe you going about your day. It'll be like Jane Goodall observing the chimps... fascinating.
Teams Propofol, Blood Diamond, and Jack & Jill arrive at Eastnor Castle where they're instructed to climb a wall guarded by angry peasants, retrieve a medieval flag, and cross the moat to a knight in shining armor. Back out on the road Team Miss Depends (Gary & Mallory), who has joined forces with Team Gleek, gets a flat tire at the petrol station. Team Gleek wants to help, but, let's be honest, I'm thinking they're about as good at changing a tire as they are at getting a date on a Saturday night. In the end, Team Gleek decides it's best they just go on alone. Besides, they've got vocal exercises to perform and ditties to invent.
The teams at the castle are quickly discovering that the boats shaped like bowls are about as seaworthy as giant hatboxes. The bitches keep tipping over and sinking. The secret is to balance yourself first and then go super slow across the moat. Jack & Jill do well with Jack whispering and being very supportive to Jill. Yes, I know his name is not Jack, but for the purpose of this blog, it is. Depsite Jack's bad hair, they make it to the other side first and race to meet their knight. Not long after the creamy and fuzzy lovely young Jack & Jill romance leaves our screens, we are once again greeted with Team Fisticuffs. Anger management Chad isn't playing around and he needs Steph to get her ass in gear before he shows her a thing or two (his angry fists) later on tonight back at the hotel. They're in the boat and Steph isn't sitting right, she's not breathing right, she's not speaking right... nothing Steph does is right so Chad, naturally, takes her head and shoves it under the water. He can probably move a corpse quicker than he can an incompetent girlfriend. As long as he and Corpse-y reach the Pit Stop together it should still totally count.
We get some quick glimpses of Team Silent Thunder totally lost, Team Bad Ass wondering which direction left is, and Team Spike catching up to Team Blood Diamond, but I began to wonder to myself, "What the hell happened to Team Woo (Michael & Kevin)?!" About an hour into the show and Team Woo is still nowhere to be found. I actually have in my notes, "Where the hell are the Asians?! Panda Express?" Turns out it would be a while before I got my answer.
OK so teams are now approaching the final challenge and it's a doozy. Someone has to shoot watermelons in a sling shot and knock over and knight in shining armor. Brook is THRILLED. She's "Oh my god you can do this! Oh my god this is the best! I am so proud of you! We need this!" thrilled. *sigh* Shit, another Meghan. Oh, you remember Meghan of the infamous "Cheyne, Cheyne, Cheyne, Cheyne, Cheyne". That incessant cheering crap that grates on my brain like nails on a chalkboard. After 85 seasons of Amazing Race, don't people know how annoying that shit is? Anyhow, teams begin hurling their melons and Jack and Nat kinda kicked ass at it. They both arrive at the Pit Stop respectively in first and second place which means Team Jack & Jill have won the Express Pass.
Brook is beginning to get nervous watching the other teams pass her. Claire kinda sucks ass at this watermelon thing so Brook ramps up her cheerleading. "You can do this chica! Right on sister! I am SO proud of you! You got this! You got this! C'mon Claire! Don't give up!" Claire snaps back, "I'm not giving up bitch!" Ok so maybe I took a little bit of creative license with that last quote, but that was basically the sentiment. What happens next is at once delightful and horrifying. Brook shouts, "Right in the kisser!" and Claire hurls that watermelon right. back. in. her. own. face. *cringes* Ooooouch. It was brutal. Funny, but brutal. That's not what makes it delightful though. What makes it delightful is that... wait for it... I've found my witch! Brook is a full-fledged soothsaying oracle reading witch! She said "Right in the kisser!" and it happened. If that's not magical, I don't know what is.
After Claire gets pummelled by the watermelon, she sits there with pink juicy chunks of goodness all over herself and says, "I can't feel my face." It was very Bobcat Goldthwait from the movie Blow. Poor girl's head is spinning, she's missing an eye, and her nose is inverted so she looks to Brook and innocently asks, "Well, what do we do now?" What do you think you do idiot?! You keep on keepin' on! Get your ass back up and start shooting more melons. Brook is very much like me in her callous disregard for potato-y Claire's misfortune. She tells her they have no choice. Claire whines that she can't see. Brook tells her to suck it up, "They don't call it the Amazing Race for nothin'!" LOL I almost liked Brook in that moment. Who the hell does Claire think she is anyway? She's the sidekick, the lesser one, the accoutrement. She better pipe down if she knows what's good for her. Eventually Claire gets her shit together and Team Blood Diamond finishes right after Team Gleek who is in 3rd place. Team Spike finishes not long after and places in 5th.
Back at the boats, guess who's finally decided to show up? It's Team Woo! I was kind of hoping for some Mr. Miyagi Jedi mind tricks on the boat, but it wasn't to be. I'm actually amazed they made it across at all. Over at the knights, Team Fisticuffs is now attempting the watermelons. Chad needs a place to channel his aggression and a helpless knight in shining armor is just the ticket. He manages to smash it quickly enough, but it's what happens next that is of note. Chad insists that the Pit Stop is on the other side of the castle. You can tell by Steph's face that she's not exactly in agreement, but another black eye is the last thing she wants so she stays quiet and goes along with it. They circle this way. They circle that way. They head to Scotland. The hike across Dublin. It was when they reached Reykjavik that Chad finally acknowledged he may have screwed up. They were gone so long that both Teams Miss Depends and Team Wu managed to place in 6th and 7th. Eventually, Team Fisticuffs makes it back to England to place 8th.
All we have left are Team Bad Ass (I really must change that name), Team Don't Abort Me, and Team Silent Thunder. Team Bad Ass actually stands right next to the boats lying on the bank of the moat, hands on hips, scratching heads, looking around, and asking one another, "Where are the boats?" I don't know why, but I find their stupidity charming. With Jeff & Jordan it's nauseating, but with Nick & Vicki I want to bottle it and drink it anytime something bugs me. In the end, Team Bad Ass finds the boats and actually manages to finish ahead of Team Don't Abort Me. Regretfully, we are forced to say goodbye to Team Silent Thunder which completely, totally, absolutely SUCKS. I loved these guys and I'm really sad to see them go.
So, what did you guys think of last night? Who are you liking so far? Who really chaps your ass? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
I searched youtube for the Elimination Station episode, but came up empty handed. I'll keep looking, but until then... please to enjoy a great inspiration to today's blog:
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Anyhow, Ron & Tony are BFF's and I swear I've seen Ron somewhere before. He's a choreographer, has been on Broadway, and was even a dancer in the film Newsies. While googling him I discovered he's written a book about how to navigate show business. I think he's a life coach too. Way to be a jack of all trades Ronnie.
Tony, on the other hand, is getting his doctorate and actually admits to liking country music. Alright Tony, I'm going to let that slide because I kind of like you guys. They have great laughs, great personalities, and they kindly named themselves for me. I expect lots of fabulous one-liners and delicious metaphors from these two and I hope they go far.
Please to enjoy:
OK so that's it for me today. My Amazing Race recap will be up some time tomorrow afternoon.
Nick & Vicki are dating and they know they may look odd and strange to some, but, in reality, they're just cool and down to earth. Nick is a pit bull loving bartender and would one day like to start a pit bull rescue because, like him, he feels they're just too misunderstood.
Vicki is a hair stylist and wants to be the next celebrity hair guru. We need another bad ass Sally Hershberger type in the world so maybe Vicki is our gal.
On appearances alone, I wish these two the best. Please to enjoy:
See what I mean? I think I prefer Team Blood Diamond to these two. Nat wants to trade places with either the Dalai Lama or Heidi Klum and Kat doesn't like to get sick. Oh give me a fucking break.
Seriously, I just want to get these stupid cast vids done already.
Meet the Wus. Papa Wu and Baby Wu. They're woonderful. Actually, I have no idea what the hell they're like. I just saw their name and went to town. Give me a sec to actually read their bios.
Turns out Baby Wu is somewhat of an internet sensation. He's like the Asian Shit My Dad Says and posts youtube videos where he makes fun of Papa Wu. The videos are slapstick and cute, but not exactly comedy milestones. Check one out for yourself:
Papa Wu is the real star here. He cracks my shit up because in his bio vid he says "Wideo" instead of "Video". Physically, the race might be a challenge for him as he looks a tad fragile and spindly like a Lo Mein noodle. If they make me laugh, I could really enjoy these two. Just one thing bugs me though - when did Shit My Dad Says start? Is this Kevin guy totally ripping that off or is it just a coincidence?
Please to enjoy the wideo:
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Both Katie and Rachel are delightful, excited about racing, and would use the money to buy themselves houses. Katie would love to switch places with Bella Swan (Haha!) and Rachel worries about getting kidnapped while traveling. Me too girlfriend. I saw Taken. I know what goes down.
Yes, at this point I'm just trying to cruise through these cast vids.
Jill is a hair stylist and she's an outgoing spunky kind of gal according to her CBS.com bio. She says she's not scared of traveling and yearns to have an Eat, Pray, Love experience at some point in her life. If she wins the million she plans on buying a decent handbag collection. *sigh* Where to even begin? Alright, let me watch her video before I rush to judgment.
OK yeah, this team sucks. I actually started whispering sweet nothings to my dog during their video. I told my fluffy white ball of love she was Miss Gorgeosity and is the most beautiful dog in all of the land. She looked at me as if to say, "Cut it out bitch. You just woke my lazy ass up." Those few moments we exchanged had more intrigue and fascination for me than these two chuckleheads in their bio video.
Thomas/Jack is in desperate need of a haircut which is kind of ironic considering Jill is a hair stylist. He wishes he could be a pro golfer and hopes to not get caught in a "hostile environment" while traveling. Fingers crossed Beirut is one of the Pit Stops!
Alright, these people bore me. The most I can hope for is lots of arguing where Jill's voice never raises and her face doesn't move. Please to enjoy:
OK so today we meet the father/daughter team of Gary and Mallory. Gary is a successful entrepeneur and likes to do all sorts of manly things like hunt and fish. He's the oldest guy on the race and that makes him smile. The idea of taking his Centrum Silver somewhere in the mountains of Nepal or the thick rich jungles of Colombia makes him tinkle his Depends just a teeny tiny bit. It's sort of precious.
Mallory is one of those "pageant people" and is very proud to have been Miss Kentucky and sprayed hairspray on her butt and put vaseline on her teeth. Yes, everything I know from pageants I learned from Miss Congeniality. I'm sorry, but what's the deal with Miss America feeding it's rejects to the Amazing Race? I'd like to suggest that maybe next time around TAR pulls from the Bad Girls Club instead. Sex and drunken debauchery is what this show's missing. I'm thinking CBS could take the Emmy back with Tanisha at the helm pounding her pots and pans. "Pop off son!"
Alright, whatever, these people are kind of cookie cutter happy-to-be-alive-and-on-the-Amazing-Race which means they're kinda boring.
Please to enjoy:
Thursday, September 9, 2010
On paper these two are pretty funny and it's definitely worth the time to cruise on over to CBS.com to take a look at their online bios, but, in person, I'm a little disappointed. They're strange and awkward talking about anagrams and nestling with each other. Had they sung their video interview I would have loved them for life, but the sentimental friend route just isn't doing it for me. I fear there's a distinct possibility these two could go home early because their thin spindly frames won't be able to carry a wheel of cheese or something.
I'm not counting these two out just yet though. I'm hoping they'll delight me with impromptu dance numbers and rockin' harmonies. The Amazing Race: The Musical might be exactly what CBS needs to get that Emmy back.
Please to enjoy:
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Chad's biggest fear in life is getting arrested in a foreign country for something he didn't do. Ahhh another Locked Up Abroad fan! I love it. That's my fear too Chad. Whenever I'm in Nepal, it's most definitely a shady local who puts that opium up my hoo-ha and not me. Chad's worry for foreign law enforcement makes me wonder if he'll be overly cautious and walk the straight and narrow or like those vile intolerant redheads who hurled insults at every cabby who crossed their paths. My vote is leaning towards the redheads. Chad won't be able to keep his anger is check for very long and I'm thinking this team could very easily become one of the most hated.
Stephanie is sweet, but I kind of fear for her life. The looks Chad give her in their video are a teeny tiny bit too creepy for me. I think she should pack up her hairstyling tools and all of that compassion she has stored up and enter the Witness Protection Program. Run Stephanie run. I don't want to have to hear about you on the Evening News.
Check out their video for yourselves. Please to enjoy:
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Order it with me... you know you wanna...
OK so Brook is super proud of herself. She makes 6 figures peddling blood diamonds for insomniacs and that makes her happy. I'm not hatin' I swear - if I could make that much stroking shiny hard things, I'd do it too. *pauses to watch a little bit of their video* I take it back. I am hating. Holy what the hell... this chick is annoying. She's always on and it's semi fascinating that her biggest fear in life is getting an incurable disease. All at once I want to cut her and watch her try to sell things to innocent Cambodians.
Poor Claire... there's an entire Order called the Poor Claires (name the movie and you're a big weiner!)... Claire is the not so pretty sidekick who loves Costa Rica and would like to invest the cash prize in hopes of doubling it. Claire thinks that food will be her harderst obstacle on the Race and I can't help but wonder how Chile is recovering from the tamale hoarding Jordan. She's the lesser entertaining of the two and she says her dad is her hero. Yawn, yawn, double yawn.
I'm not going to write these two off just yet. I'm sensing something inside of them that could be evil and entertaining. If they keep talking to me like I'm in fucking kindergarten, then we're going to have a problem, but Claire's all too obvious lust for Brook should be fun to watch.
Here's the video where Brook totally reminds me of Bobbie Brown (not Mr. Whitney Houston or the make-up artist, but the 90's video vixen Bobbie Brown from Warrant's 'Cherry Pie' video). I might even start calling her BB. Please to enjoy:
I've just created my official TAR17 folder and over the next several days I will offer up my extremely unfair and often incorrect critcisms of each and every team. I'll also workshop some team nicknames, but, like every season before, they are subject to change should the fancy strike me. As I am a fan of all things fancy, it may strike me often.
The first team we're going to meet is the mother/daughter duo of Andie & Jenna. They aren't your typical mother/daughter team though. These two only just met! I wonder if Troy Dunn had anything to do with it... but I digress.
Andie is a stay at mom going through a midlife crisis - her words not mine. She likes to run, hike, and say annoying pro-life things in her online bio. Andie is a strange robotic type of gal who doesn't have too many facial expressions, but I gotta admit the way these two got onto the show is actually very sweet. It turns out Andie googled Jenna and saw on her Twitter account that Jenna loved The Amazing Race and wanted to compete. I knew Twitter was great for making fun of people and spreading weird celebrity death rumors, but I had no idea it could bring families together. Score one for Twitter!
For some reason, these two think playing out their fidgety awkward "getting to know you" phase on National TV is a good idea. Bless their hearts because I'm more than happy to watch it all materialize. Jenna can't really get a word in edgewise, but when she does she calls her mom by her first name and I totally giggled. She's a sweet girl stuck in an unusual predicament and I can't help but sympathize with how truly awkward this must be for her. Jenna is an adventurous type who can't wait to travel the world and conquer her fears -- fear of being motherless. Zing! Their dynamic is a unique one for sure, but Jenna seems like a free spirit and extremely well-adjusted. The most I can hope for is Andie making awkward faces when Jenna talks about missing her "mom", her adopted mom.
Check out their video and help me figure out if Andie has had too much botox or is just insanely uncomfortable. Please to enjoy:
Monday, May 10, 2010
(Coit Tower NOT the Lost lighthouse)