Today we meet engaged couple Lance and Keri. They think The Amazing Race will be a great way to test their relationship and communication skills. Ugh barf. I hate it when couples go on the show to "test" things they're ambivalent about. Just say you want to travel and win some cash and be done with it. Don't turn this into some kind of new age psycho couples therapy crap. Can you tell I'm grumpy today? I have zero tolerance for bullshit and that whole "testing our relationship" crap is tapping out my bullshit meter. Like these two were really sitting around the family room one day and said, "We need to test our relationship and communication skills before we decide to spend our life together. Let's do a reality show!" Whatever.
Lance is a lawyer and has a black belt in martial arts and is probably a total tool. He describes himself as having a "street persona". Sure. He looks like a douchebag who doggy ears Restoration Hardware catalogs. That's SO "street". Keri likes to jog and shop and bore me with her resume. She's kind and gentle, but says she's just as competitive as Lance.
I'm so ready to be done with these two... let's watch the video...
OK I'm 2 seconds in and I already hate Lance. He totally stole his douche smirk from Jessie and he stole his "I'm a lawyer" schtick from Star Jones. Remember on the first season of The View when Star would say "I'm a lawyer" at every chance she got? Well, that's this tool only he's an annoying white guy. Keri sounds like Teresa from Real Housewives. If she flips a table or two, she'll be my favorite, but right now I'm not feeling these two at all. Keri seems almost likable and I kind of just want to swoop in, shake her, and ask her what the hell she's doing with that lame ass.
Please to enjoy: